2500 Words

I must admit that this week has been quite the challenge since deciding to dedicate time to writing. The writing side has been a blast, given I’ve had so much time to think about what I have wanted to write it has been relatively easy to get the words down and the story evolving (even if some sentences are grammatically a MESS) but on the other ‘Mum Guilt’ has been a bit of an Everest.

Now, before anyone begins thinking or saying ’Where is her father?!’ I want to be clear when I say my husband is very dedicated to this family and is very supportive of my wanting to write. My Post Natal Depression and Anxiety is in fact the unsupportive extra in my life right now. I won’t divulge too far into the details for nuances of such a battle, that isn’t what this blog was intended to be about, BUT it is unfortunately a factor that hinders progress to becoming an author as it means time not spent with my daughter who, naturally, wants to spend all her time with me. She also, at 11 months old is not the best little sleeper out there so sometimes I’m just tired and want to watch The Real Housewives and sing Old McDonald Had a Farm 15x times in a row.

Aside from that here is another interesting thing that happened. So, about 4000 words is the average length of a chapter, so I have set myself a goal of 3500-4000 words so 20-22 chapters, right? The first 2000 words weren’t easy because when I started writing everything felt a bit overwhelming like ‘Oh my god I have to write a whole friggin novel’.  The next 500 words were relatively easy, I had some fixing to do, filling in some spots here and there and then when everything was finally lined up and all I had to do was write the last 1000-1500 words (that were already in my head). Imposter Syndrome kicked in and when I tell you I did not see this coming…I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING. I knew eventually it would rear its ugly little head, I feel like it is probably a rite of passage for most first-time authors to feel like this undertaking is just too much and they cannot possibly succeed in comparison to
the plethora of New York Bestsellers out there, but holy guacamole can you at least let me get to Chapter 3?!

It has actually stopped me dead in my tracks, when I had the first chapter going where I wanted it to go, and already know what I want to say in Chapter 2, I suddenly became overwhelmed with fear and this book is just not going to be good enough. My idea and plot
is not going to be accepted by the wider audience and my characters suck. Now, here I am, have not written since hitting 2574 words.

So here I sit Googling ways to overcome Imposter Syndrome even though I know exactly what I need to do; I need to keep going. I need to keep writing even if it isn’t perfect and even if I know logically, the first draft never goes to print and that’s okay. But for those of you who, like me, don’t always respond well to ‘get do it’, I have found some interesting tips to overcome this plight.

1. Stop comparing, start competing- Ok so hear me out.
   Technically the step I read said stop comparing yourself and look at other people’s work (in whatever field applies to you) and learn from them. Cute. But not my style. Instead, I’m going to try and be BETTER than them. I know what it sounds like, I don’t think my novel will be a success so how can I possibly think I can be more successful than…J.K. Rowling? What I mean is pick something that
   your favourite author is good at (Are they a pro at describing the environment around the character, do they write dialogue well or hone into what the main character is thinking and feeling?) and try and write like them or better than them on that ONE aspect. Do not worry about anything else, the rest will come.   For instance, I am currently reading a Karin Slaughter novel, and that woman can DESCRIBE a room, a street, a car, a crime scene. You feel like you are wherever a character is. So, for the next week, I am going to focus on the environment my characters are in and compete with Karin to be as good as or better than her. The idea is that I will focus for on that than having to write a novel and try to have it published.
   
   
2. Instead of being social, social media- Right, so AGAIN, different to the step I read! It absolutely warns against too much social media, which I truly agree with but it encouraged you to talk to others so they can help you. Again, not one of my strong suits (except for mental health – please please please seek help and discuss regarding mental health!!). When it comes to my husband and like two friends, I thrive at talking about my self-doubt, anyone else, especially those in writing and publishing? Absolutely, 100% negative. I don’t like the idea of discussing my book with someone else, I don’t like another person’s spoon in my gumbo or reading my measly 2500 words right now for their opinion. So, here is another option if talking to others is not for you. Social media has 100s of groups, forums and pages of tips and tricks for writing, many do not require you to engage in conversations, you can simply read what publishers look for, hurdles other authors had to overcome and tips on how to make your writing better. This way, I feel less alone knowing that other people went through the same thing and overcame it…and I don’t have to do that pesky opening up to people.
   
   
3. Don’t try and be perfect – I actually do agree with this one straight off the bat with no further elaboration on what this step said. This is the first draft. There will be improvements for many times to come so I think it’s important to remember of the next week (and all the future weeks) this book will not be publishable right away. This is literally the time to make mistakes and learn lessons. Hmm. Writing this was actually pretty helpful and cathartic…am I cured?
   
   
4. Celebrate the journey – Ummmm excuse me. You, me, us…we are WRITING A NOVEL! Who else can say that right now at this very moment they are working towards being a published author?! Honestly, let us congratulate ourselves that we have even started this journey! The whole point was to document the truth whether it’s a win or a loss but there is no loss in trying. We’re out here in these literary trenches trying to tell a story and I think that is something to be proud of and celebrate even in itself.

Well done me. Well done you. I can’t wait to see our success and this will all be a memory. Hopefully next week I have overcome this hurdle, even if I don’t I hope to have still made progress. Maybe I’ll have progressed to writer’s block!